JV

no, not the football team, the man i may have fallen in love with and didn't expect to.

here's the story...

1994-i saw this creature in high school, he was a year older than me and he was pretty. blonde hair, blue eyes, totally not my type, but pretty all the while. he was a "bad boy". did his drugs, hung out with the wrong crowd, but his crowd nonetheless. we had mutual friends, but we never hung out really.

1995-the night i graduated from high school, he was at our party, i'm not sure why, but he was. well, we ended up making out that night and we had sex. we both got up the next morning, me on cloud nine, he in a drug induced coma (i'm guessing). i just chalked it up to a one night stand with my high school crush...

2001-MO and i lived in a house in athens, ga. our neighbors, one of which i went to high school with and worked with, one another guy we worked with, and the final one, JV. JV had just ended a 3 year relationship with a girl we went to high school with. i had a boyfriend at the time and just spoke when i saw him. nothing came out of that other than the occasional hello...

2009-walking out of a liquor store in bumble fuck north georgia with A and C. as we are walking out of the store, in walks JV. i knew it was him immediately, those EYES! i didn't speak b/c i would have heard shit from A, you learn to pick your battles, you know? so when we got home i did what any normal person would do, i searched for him on facebook. well, it didn't take me long. i sent him a message saying i saw him, blah, blah, blah, and he said he knew it was me too and didn't understand why i didn't speak. i told him i had a boyfriend, etc. so we talked all that night and really have talked weekly since then...

right before i moved out here, he got a promotion and had to move to arkansas. he's a DM for zaxby's. so after he got settled in, is when i moved out here. we talked and he started dating a girl there (who wasn't cute at all and i let him know that). don't know what went wrong there, but they ended things. i finally woke up one day and got over A. JV and i were talking about everyday at that point and he said he was coming to visit. i didn't believe him at first, but then he started asking questions about the area.

next thing i know, i'm picking him up from the airport and as soon as i see him, i literally went weak in the knees. i was so nervous, just not knowing what to expect b/c like i said, we hadn't ever spent time together. we went out for drinks, and then had a fierce make out session on the back deck. we didn't have sex that night, honestly, we had sex once, but it was amazing. we made out a lot though.

we hiked a lot and spent time together. it was nice. we looked at each other and we both felt something. it was to the core, whatever it was.

his last night here we had "the talk". yes, we live far apart from each other, yes, we want this to work, yes, we are going to be faithful, yes, we like each other a lot.

for the first few days we both were miserable, just off our game. nothing was going right, but when we talked, the world stopped and everything was perfect.

things have been blissfully perfect and i haven't been this happy in 9 years or so. it's such a great feeling to get the butterflies when i talk to him. he gives me such a hard time, but he says he does that b/c he likes me.

i'm going there in 13 days and i'm so excited. it can't get here fast enough. he wants to come here for thanksgiving and us have it together and alone, which to me, is the sweetest thing.

i may be in a lot of like right now, and i'm afraid it could turn into something else. my mutha likes him b/c he is a nice guy. he just drinks now, no drugs, so a great person for me.

so that's the story. my high school crush is now my boyfriend after 15 years. never in my life did i expect this to happen, neither did he. funny how things work out...

here is a picture of us that i took his second night here. it isn't a great picture of him, but it's just how we are looking at each other that makes my heart melt...

My new inspiration

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
               
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greaterand lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years,gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.  
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